This post is special. Why? because it is not written by the blog owner. Instead her husband has now taken control of the keyboard and decided to share his path of self discovery through journaling.
My name is Ali. This is my story.
One day, out of the blue I received a gift. Nicely wrapped and out of curiosity I smelled it. Sniff Sniff There was a small hint of leather. With my wife’s cheeky smile she said, open up! Having received a hulk mask previously, it is interesting to get the hulk’s purple pants. I was then holding notebook wrapped by a leather. “What is this?” “Duh!! it is a journal!”, she annoyingly replied while rolling her eyes. Only women can roll their eyes. I have tried it before in front of mirror, it hurts.
In it is a blank notebook. I left it blank , untouched for months. One day I was inspired just like that, I crept in slowly, lifts some pages and started devising a plan on how to get away from city life and live off the grid. Drawing up my design of container house, renewable energy and later on when reality hits me, I shy away from the idea. “It would be nice. But maybe not now.”
To make this story relevant, my father gave me his fountain pen. Old, beautiful and outfitted with gold. To tell you the truth my handwriting is equivalent to that when chicken scratches the ground looking for worms. Le wife ask me to check the 31 day journaling challenge by art of manliness. So I man up and took the challenge but before that, I will need to capture the spirit of writing. I’m still learning to write cursive because at the part of the world I’m living in, cursive is just another font in microsoft word. I would love to ‘paint’ those letters instead of writing it. The idea is that to put constraint of what to write each day. With hurdles and obstacles, one may perhaps becomes creative. If the road is laid out clear, then to give the brain a workout does not seem to be necessary at all. There will be no learning process.
If asked why do I write? It is self discovery. Do we even know our own self? Whenever we want to decide something, there is always this opposing or supporting thought in that decision. If the mind is the tool to make decision, then what is the force that opposes it sometimes? How are we different from animals? They get up in the morning foraging for food. We wear suit and tie and go to work. Earn money to get food. We avoid pain, seek pleasure and fighting for survival, we are no different than animals in that sense. So why is this creature human is so special? Therefore as I continue to write, I hope that each pages allows me to contemplate and travel deep. Understand the thought process. Because sometimes, just a glimpse. just a glimpse of dis-identification happens. It feels that you are nobody, without name and connected to one incredible vast limitless ocean of life, then SNAP! you lost it.
Whoever you are today, it is shaped by upbringing and experiences all around. That is what shapes the mind. You pick up experiences and assimilate with it. But when you die, the brain with the mind inside and experiences you have gathered dies with it. The thought of suddenly ‘not exist’ is.. seems impossible. No doubt there is a higher consciousness that we suppressed, accidently put to sleep.